Mentoring – Building better relationships for your children

With solo parenting on the rise and divorce rates at a high New Zealand’s children are becoming more isolated from key adult relationships. Over 25% of our children live in solo parent households (a majority of these with their mum) in which many of these children lack quality relationships with their fathers and other important role models. Busy work schedules and a lack of quality time with mum or dad can result in your child feeling lonely and isolated. In particular is the isolation of many young kiwi boys from important male role models. Although women make for wonderful mums, they can not mimic the male energy and manly traits that young boys need in order to grow into healthy men. For all of these reasons it’s important that your special little person gets the attention and companionship they desire.

Finding a suitable mentor and building key relationships with mature adults gives your child the building blocks to develop healthy friendships and a sense of security through trust and compassion. Matthew Button, Manager of the Big Brother and Big Sister organisation in Christchurch says that when aligned with mentors “the kids do better at school, their confidence increases and they seem to get into less trouble. The greatest benefit really is having someone who regularly comes and hangs out with, plays games and looks out for you”.

As one solo parent has said “Canes dad passed away before he was one and all we have left is his my sister and mother, I feel sorry for him living in a house full of girls, I want him to have positive male energy in his life so that he can grow to be a healthy boy. It makes me sad to think he’s missing out”.

Big Brothers and Big Sisters New Zealand (BBBSNZ) is an organisation dedicated to offering a free mentoring service to young children in need of a little extra attention and care. With 11 organisations across New Zealand, the Big Brother Service hopes to continue growing so as to reach the high demand of kids in need. “We are inundated with requests for young people to have a mentor” says Mr Button, “Seeing the smile on a young person’s face when they hang out with their mentor is magic! Its great being involved in a project where lives are improved and where everyday people make a difference in a kid’s life”.

As Big Brother Big Sister conclude “Mentoring isn’t necessarily about making progress, getting results or reforming behaviour; it’s about being a stable, supportive influence in the lives of children who, for one reason or another, are struggling with the world”.

There are a few free mentoring programs and organizations around New Zealand that offer a free voluntary service. Some are offered through your local schools and others through the local community, to find out more information about what’s available near you contact your local youthline, they are always happy to help and are very responsive, www.youthline.co.nz.

For a comprehensive listing of mentoring services and programs available in New Zealand visit www.youthmentoring.org.nz and click on the ‘mentoring programs’ link.

Written By: Abby Lynne
Abby Lynne is a young entrepreneur and inspirational blogger on business and lifestyle. Her mission is to help young people succeed in their personal and business ventures. For more information on Abby Lynne visit her on LinkedIn at http://nz.linkedin.com/in/abbylynne

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